Sexuality has had an enormous global shadow, that is now coming to light, and being transformed by those bringing higher consciousness to sexuality. This does not happen overnight and as many people are waking up to greater truths and healing capacities around sexuality, while also sometimes mixing it with their un-tintegrated shadows along the way. This goes for men and women, but in this post however I am going to speak to a common dynamic I have witnessed specifically with male tantric healers offering healing to women.

We are seeing an uprising of women having the courage to speak up around violating sexual behaviour, this goes for not only the #metoo movement and the mainstream but also for the spiritual community. Sexual distortions exist not only in mainstream culture, but just as much within the ‘conscious community’.

Just in the past year I’ve witnessed 2 prominent women publicly calling out their partners/ex-partners who are also public figures in the field of sexual healing, for their shadow behaviors. The thai tantric healing school is facing accusations of misconduct. I’ve worked with many women to transform the damage done by male tantric healers who have misused their ‘healing’ gifts and confused them with their own attraction, sexual desires, and lack of consent. I’ve helped women heal and untangle from lovers and partners that “opened” them sexually and then had zero self responsibility and zero regard for the effects of such a deep opening.

***Sexual healing power is a great responsibility and must be used with the utmost purity and self responsibility, with clear agreements and boundaries. And with the deepest honor for what it brings to the surface. I’ve learned this from being on both sides.

I’ve also personally witnessed the un-integrated and manipulative shadow aspects of multiple men that are public figures and self-proclaimed proponents of the goddess and sexual healing. Are all male tantric healers misusing their power? Definitely not, I’m sure they are amazing ones out there. I share this with no judgement as we are all on a healing path, sharing and learning as we go.

As many women are being called to awaken these deeply powerful and pleasurable part of themselves, I would like to share some insights for women who are called to heal their sexuality at this time.

Here are some things to consider when it comes to sexual healing:

1. Women who are healing sexually, many times are still learning their bodies and boundaries. Rather than someone imposing their “healing” or “guidance” on what your body needs, they should be asking permission step by step. This gets you back into your body so that YOU can learn its language and decide what feels right.

2. When someone holds powerful tantric healing gifts- it can not only activate love, healing, opening, and pleasure within others, but it can also activate their deepest pain.
Healing comes in layers- sure someone may help to heal a wound, but that may just open another wound, and is that person going to be there to hold you through the next layer? If it’s a relationship, are their clear agreements and healthy communication in your relationship? Or if its a practitioner are their clear boundaries between client and practitioner?

3. In my opinion sexual healing can happen during sexual encounters- but for the most part this is only loving relationships with clear agreements. Aside from that, I see that many times it can cause far more trauma. Sexual healing can happen energetically or through touch with ZERO penetration or even sexual energy being aroused. Please take this into consideration of you are embarking on a sexual healing journey with someone that you don’t know very well. Is it actually in your highest good to open a sexually with them? Is there a deep trust present? What are the repercussions of them opening places that have never been touched or opened before, and will they be around to support you in the aftermath?

4. There is a great power in women healing their sexuality with other women – in clear and sacred containers. In ancient times priestesses would work with one another sexually. There was an understanding of the feminine energy, the female body, and of the sexual connection with the divine. We would teach one another, activate one another, and heal one another, and these practices are being revived today. When a woman feels safe, and the energy of divine mother is present, where she knows that absolutely *nothing* wants to be taken from her, only given, then true healing can happen.

Just because someone is psychic or have sexual healing gifts does not necessarily mean that they are pure in their intentions, entitled to your body, or will honor what gets brought up after.

Be protective of your sexual flame and use great discernment around who you let in your sacred space. Much healing can be done without even the touch of a finger.